Phone Calls
by Mega Jazz
Summary: Lennox, Brett, and Epps makes deals with Ironhide. But what knid of deals? Find out? OC in action!
1. Chapter 1

Phone Calls

Hey guys. Thanks for reading my two new stories there good. Well maybe for not some of you. I'm doing this for my ocs and Lennox and Epps. Those guys are my favorites.

RR and you get the point. Thanks!

Epps phone rings,

Epps: Hello?

Lennox: Hi, Robbie!

Epps: *growls* Don't call me that! How many times do I have to tell you?

Lennox: I can't help it, Robbie. *smirks*

Epps: There you go again. Never piss off a black man.

Lennox: Hey, say something.

Epps: What?

Lennox: Say hello, Brett

Brett: What? Is this three line shit working? Oh dang?

Epps: *widen eyes* Brett! Brett Holiday!

Brett: Uh, yea. Hi, Robbie!

Epps: Dude, its been a long time! How ya been, man?

Brett: Good, I think. How's the Military thing going?

Lennox: Like shit.

Epps: You wouldn't believe it, bro.

Brett: That doesn't sound like fun. I was thinking of going back. 

Lennox: Um, It be best if you don't. There's a lot of shit going.

Epps: A lot of bullshit.

Brett: O_o Okay? Um, any lucky fucking girls or what the hell?

Lennox: *laughs* Tell Robbie about it!

Epps: Shut your gay ass mouth! You dick!

Brett: *laughs* What happen, man? Girl turn you off not on?

Lennox: Robert is a virgin, Brett. *Held back his laughter*

Brett: O_O WHAT! For real?

Lennox: Yup. He never actually get turn on or off. He says he wants it personal and not letting us know.

Brett: Awe, Epps. We gotta help you get jock-up.

Epps: No thanks, dicks. I'm taking this solo. I don't need your help or advice. I'm black and black males know how to get laid.

Silent

Brett: Riiiiight

Lennox: Yea, that's not ganna happen, Robbie. I known you all my life. 

Epps: Oh for fuck sakes. Go to hell the two of you. And don't call me ROBBIE! *hangs up*

Lennox: Ouch. That burns

Brett: Who else can we bother?

Lennox: *shrugs* Dounno…Uh, Let's call Sam or…Ironhide

Brett: You did that acting pretty good. We should tell Robbie that you told me about the Autobots.

Lennox: Naw, I like making him feel stupid sometimes.

Brett: Call hide?

Lennox: Okay!

*Rings* Ironhide answers

Ironhide: H-hello?

Lennox: HI!

Brett: Ola!

Ironhide: *groans* Not you two. I'm busy!

Lennox: Like what? 

Brett: Screwing a girl?

Ironhide: What! O_O N-No! You sick human males!

Brett: ha-ha! Are you doing Arcee or Flare-up?

Lennox: Did you see their holoforms their so sexy?

Brett: You're married, Will

Lennox: Yea so. A guy can't have fun with other girls

Brett: Yea you're right.

Ironhide: YOU TWO ARE SERIOUSELY SICK MINDED RIGHT NOW!

Brett: No. That's what guys do. Don't you and Optimus talk about sex with girls or just girls. Its normal

Ironhide: Normal? How is that human males doing nothing but screwing girls, normal? Let me tell you something. Ratchet is a femme catcher.

Lennox: Ratchet? The doctor?

Brett: The Medical bot! No way!

Ironhide: Yes it was way back. When he and I was young. We were troublemakers. We screw femmes here and here. It was all great and fun.

Lennox: Wow…That's?

Brett: Amazing! How do you do it!

Lennox: O_O

Ironhide: You want to know the secret?

Brett: yea, yea!

Ironhide: Okay, its…IN YOUR DREAMS!

Brett: Awe. So close.

Lennox: A man never shares his sex magic to other male. It's a 'Do it by yourself' knid of thing.

Ironhide: Yes, you don't tell other mechs for sex advice or anything. You got balls grow them more.

Brett: Alright. *smirks* If I can get five girls in bed with me? You, Ironhide will have to sleep with Arcee and Flare-up.

Lennox: Oh shit. The SEX BET

Ironhide: O_O You're stupid are you? You think I'm going to frag Arcee my best friend. Who I teach a lot from her. You think I'm going to frag Ratchet's femme, Flare-up?

Brett: Yup ^_-

Ironhide: Deal

Lennox: O_O What! You two are crazy.

Ironhide: five girls and I'll do it.

Epps: O_O What!

Lennox: Epps? I thought you hang up? 

Epps: No! This shit is inserting! Wanna bet!

Lennox: $50 for no five girls

Epps: $60 for Ironhide screwing Arcee and Flare-up at the sametime.

Lennox: Deal…YOU BETTER GET 5 GIRLS IN BED, BRETT!

Brett: trust me I will.

*Everyone hangs ups*

Next Day:

Epps: So who won?

Lennox: IDK?

Brett: I…

Epps: You what?

Lennox: WHAT!

Brett: I fucking WON!

Epps: O_O No frigging way.

Lennox: HA! I win the bet!

Brett: And guess what?

Both: WHAT?

Brett: I did both deals to Ironhide and Optimus. That makes me sleep with ten girls. Oh, Arcee and Flare-up are going to have one hell of a ride. *smirks*

Both: O_O Oh my GOD!

Brett: Ah life is full of surprises.

Both: *hang up.*

Brett: Hello? Guys? Oh well! ^_^ hehe, what dumb asses. Me and Ironhide were faking it the whole time.

Lennox: Wait until we go to your house!

Epps: I'm going to go black male on you dick!

Brett: Shit! Hide! *hangs up*

Both: *laughs*

**Oh those guys are funny. I know it anit that funny. But my cousin were laughing. Anyway thanks. R&R for this story. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Here another deals! RR and Enjoy**

**I don't own TF just my OC Brett Holiday **

*Brett calls Epps*

Epps: What the fuck do you WANT!  
>Brett: Robbie! How ya been man?<p>

Epps: You suck at deals. Even sex deals.

Brett: *rolls eyes* Do you wanna bet, Epps? I sure you I can make a robot fuck anything.

Epps: -_- okay then call someone?

Brett: calls a femme*

Arcee: Good Day, if you are being chase by Ironhide please press 3. If you're being chase by Ratchet plase press 4. If these are not working for you and the person that you are trying to call knows the person who is calling. Brett Holiday-_-

Brett: what was the talk #?  
>Epps: Mine is 7<p>

Brett: okay *presses 7*

Arcee: hello

Brett: hi!

Epps: Sup girl

Arcee: Epps….Brett-_-

Brett: hey Arcee would you like to do a deal?

Epps: A sex deal?

Arcee: O_O Sex deal? What the frag is that?

Epps: Brett?

Brett: Let put this easy for you. Bonding deals?

Epps: Iamma call some1

Brett: Hmm

Arcee: Bonding deals? O_o you mean sex deals!

Brett:-_- I did say that

Epps; I'm back!

Optimus: What? Who?

Brett: You called Optimus PRIME O_O

Epps: Yea why wouldn't i?

Brett: Hmm? Hey arcee would you do if your boyfriend was hella lazy?

Arcee: first, I don't have a "boyfriend" second I would turn him ON! *purrs* Why?

Brett: Great cause Optimus is hella lazy!

Epps: WHAT O_O

Optimus: O_O….uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Brett: Yup^_^

Arcee: HIMO_o

Brett: Yea why not?

Arcee: …

Optimus: Im not lazy! I'm already doing someinthing!

Epps: Yea like what?

Optimus:…Something…Some….THING

Epps: yea you're not doing anyTHING

Brett: So ?

Arcee: Will you leave me alone for a month and let me relax instead of saving your ass?  
>Brett: SURE<p>

Arcee: Deal

Brett: Sex deal is on!

Epps: Wow..

Optimus: Oh Primus…

Arcee: Prime! In your room at 8 don't be late cause I will hunt you down *hangs up*

Epps: Can't wait for tomorrow! *hangs up*

Optimus: Iamma go cry in a corner now *hangs up*

Brett: Sweet! RR and Thank you! *hangs up*

*Next Day*

Brett: *calls Epps*

Epps: Hello

Brett: Robbie!

Epps: Fuck you!-_-

Brett: :'(

Epps: What do you want?

Brett: The Deal remmeber?

Epps: Oh yea. I was busy chillining in the spa untill you call and ruined it for me. -_-

Brett: Cool, I'm in the steam room. It's so fucking hot in here.

Epps: Steam room? It's so wet in there? How could your iPhone work in there?

Brett: Idk? It's a 5G. Made waterproof.

Epps: That's a damn lie-? Hold on someone calling me?

Brett: ^_^

Optimus: Hey guys…

Brett: OP! What's up!

Epps: How was your night lucky man. ;)

Optimus: Oh god. It was…freaking…AWESOME.

Brett: Thinking of seconds?

Optimus: No not a chance if my life depended on it.

Epps: Well…

Brett: You son of bitch..Wait someone is calling me?

Arcee: Hey Brett!

Brett: Hi! ^^'

Epps: Sup!^_-

Optimus:umm…Ola?

Arcee: Guess I have a confession to make!

Brett: That's why we build a fucked up chruch…

Epps: You talk to father yet,Cee?

Arcee: I did but he won't stop shaking or holding the cross. He kept calling me "The Devil's creation"

Brett: Wow..

Epps: So..

Optimus: Now what?

Arcee: Yea forgot to tell ya something…I'm pregant!^^

Optimus: O_O! *faints*

Epps: SHIT! *spill coffee on his pants*

Brett: O_O!

Arcee: haaha.

Brett: You joking right?

Epps: If you not…Iamma call Ratchet or Hatchet

Arcee: Nope

Epps: For reals?

Arcee: *chuckled* hehe nope. I just wanted to see what would Optimus say but I guess he faint -_-

Brett: Riiight…

Epps: I got to go. I spill coffee all over my pants..

Brett: Bye Robbie!

Arcee: See ya ;)

Epps: Bye Arcee bye Bitch!

Brett: Hey you forgot Brett! -

Arcee: No he didn't, Bitch..i mean Brett

Brett: okay..

Arcee: Wanna call Ratchet and Mirage?  
>Brett: oh hell yea!<p>

*Calls the mechs*

Mirage: HI!^^

Ratchet: I'm not here-_-

Mirage: Yes you are?

Ratchet: shut up..

Arcee: Hey guys

Mirage: Ah! Sexy Arcee!

Ratchet: What now  
>Brett: Hey guys!<p>

Mirage: hi…brett…

Ratchet: What the fuck do you want?

Brett: Too talk..

Ratchet: I don't want to hear your stupid sex deals, okay

Brett: O_O why not?

Ratchet: Because their WRONG!

Mirage: O_o What are sex deals?

Arcee: You don't want to know

Brett: ^_^ a deal where you can fuck each other!

MirageO_O

Ratchet: -_-

Arcee: *faceplams*

Optimus: I'm back! ^^

Brett: Great

Mirage: O_o

Ratchet: -_-

Arcee: :3

Optimus: What? What I say?

Brett: Hey, Ratchet…Wanna know something?

Ratchet: What? Are you dying?

Brett: No!

Arcee: Don't! EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT

Brett: Arcee and Optimus was fucking last night *smirks*

Ratchet: OPTIMUS WANT TO SEE YOU IN MY MEDIC ROOM NOW!

Mirage:…*hangs up*

Arcee: See what you did you, dumass! *hangs up*

Brett: What?

Optimus: Awe man…I'm dead metal *hangs up*

Brett: Oh fuck all you guys! -_- I can never have fun!

**RR and Thank you part 3 will be up soon!**


End file.
